A 2-Day Course

Introduction

Love and relationship—being related—has been an issue of concern for more than 2,000 years. Yet centuries of evolution and sophiscated discovery in many fields have, by comparison, taught us very little that makes any real difference in how we relate to one another.

Human beings have made amazing progress at war –from bows and arrows to an arsenal of modern weaponry. But despite the work of some of history's greatest thinkers, thousands of books and films on the subject, and volumes of studies, there has been no significant breakthrough in our being related. Real expertise in matters of the heart eludes us.

We, as individuals and as human beings, remain essentially in the dark. Our everyday interactions with one another are only the merest reflection of the real possibility that relationships are.

What this Workshop Is About

Participants engage in a rigorous, stimulating and engaging inquiry designed to reveal and dispel the myths that conceal the real possibility, power and spirit of relationship.

We all know the story about the man who looked for his lost key under a street lamp—even though he had dropped it at home which is under complete darkness—because under the street lamp he could see! Like that man, each of us tends to look at life in the light of what is familiar to us. We consider our relationships objects or "things," and we apply the rules of "things" in our endeavors to have them work. The world of objects is familiar to us. It is comfortable, understandable, and in it, there is a sense of certainty; we feel we can predict and even exercise control.

Without really thinking about it, most of us freely on our familiarity with the world of "things" to guide us through our relationships. Treating relationship like a "thing" is at the ground of the "relationship myth." While some of us become very expert at relating to relationship as a thing and have "things" under control, no matter how expert one becomes at managing within a myth, one is always limited to the outcomes allowed by the myth. The real magic and power of relationship is not available in a myth.

Design

But myths are difficult to dispel, particularly when they are, for the most part, as invisible to us (and as all-pervasive) as water to the fish or air to the bird. How does one "get at" that which so transparently shapes us and determines our relationships? The term and the method that we use in this course for "getting at" this myth –for making visible that which is concealed—is DESIGN.

Normally, we think of "design" as planning or bringing into existence something which is not yet there. The kind of design we do in this course, however, is a wholly different kind of design. It is a design which designs what is always and already there. In designing the myth which underlines all of our being related, we pierce it—dispel it—thereby allowing for the possibility of mastery and freedom in the domain of being related.

What We Will Cover

This course is not a presentation of information about relationships or a series of tips on relating more effectively. It is not a description of the properties of a good relationship. Rather, by designing the myth in which our relationships exist, we move the light to where the key lies. There we begin to see the real design of being related and make way for relationships that are workable, nurturing and successful.

Some of the elements of being related that we will work on this program are:
Session 1 The myth of "my" relationship
The myth of relationship as a "thing"

Session 2 Ideals, standards and expectations
Trust, love, guilt and forgiveness

Session 3 Relationship as a story versus relationship as a presence
The possibility of being related

Session 4 Relationships: Transforming the Structure of Our Emotions, feelings and Moods
Love and relationship are realized in many different dimensions. One of these is, obviously, the physical; another is psychological-the realm of our likes and dislikes, our feelings, moods and emotions.

But surprisingly, the "heart" of relationship is ontological--it lies in the being of being related. This is the key to the possibility of nurturing, workable, satisfying relationships.

Session 5 Relationships: Handling the Breakdowns
We have somehow come to believe that "perfect" relationships should be free of problems, disagreements, doubts, free of breakdowns. Yet, to be truly alive and vital in any relationship is to be at risk.

Handling the breakdowns is a rigorous yet highly engaging inquiry into the various phenomena which occur when we dare to be related. Subjects that we will cover include:

1. Trust and betrayal 6. Disappointment
2. Jealousy and envy 7. Sex and intimacy
3. Disagreements and misunderstandings
4. Forgiveness
5. Communication/ Complaints

Registration Information

• Relationships: Making them Work is a two-day program that takes place on Friday and Saturday from 10:00 AM to 5:00PM with one half day--Friday afternoon session from 1:00PM to 5:00 PM. Tea & snacks will be served and the cost of both are included in the tuitions.

• The tuition is NC Rs. 1,000/- per individual and Rs. 1,700 per couple. Twenty to twenty-five couples (40-50 participants) will be entertained in a 2-Day Course. The tuitions must be deposited with the organizers at least 7 days prior to the commencement of the course.

• The dates for the training will be mentioned in our website: www.nild.com.np at
"Current Events."

• For further additional information, please contact our Nild's Office at Sanepa, Lalitpur. Tel: 016224236, 9841-539564 (Usha), 98510-03694 (Bikal)